


5. Role Reversal

by meltypes



Series: McHanzo PeaPod Week 2K19 [5]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 15:32:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17347799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meltypes/pseuds/meltypes
Summary: McCree shaves his beard for a mission. He enjoys it just as much as you'd expect.





	5. Role Reversal

**Author's Note:**

> :D short n sweet (n bc this was a hard prompt for me tbh...)

This was definitely going on McCree’s list of Top 5 Most Hated Missions. Usually, jobs that involved schmoozing the wealthy or seducing a target for info fell to agents like Hanzo, or Genji, or Satya, or literally anybody else- y’know, people who gave off an air of grace and importance because it was an innate trait. McCree was charming, sure, and he knew he was handsome, and he could be downright saintlike when the inspiration struck, but he never took interest in licking boots for a lead when an aggressively persuasive one-on-one or discreetly placed bug could do the same. Hell, the man had gotten himself fired from an undercover waiter job in Venice because he couldn’t hold his tongue. So, when Winston had outlined the mission details during the debrief, he almost thought it was a joke. 

“Very funny, bossman,” McCree snorted. The entire team roster (consisting of Hanzo, Genji, Ana, and Lucio) turned to stare at him. He flushed under their scrutiny, pulling at his hat. “What?”

“I’m not joking, Agent McCree,” Winston said. “You are the perfect man for this job.”

“What about Hanzo? Genji? They’ve got more experience in this line of work than I do!”

Ana shot him a sympathetic smile. “About that….”

“The information Agent Amari and I recovered from our last recon mission shed light on some of our target’s….preferences,” Genji spoke, sounding a little too amused. McCree looked across the conference table to Hanzo for help. He was deliberately ignoring McCree, hands under his chin and eyes glued on the wall behind Winston at Genji’s mission report.  _ Useless boyfriend.  _

McCree turned back to Winston, shooting him a suspicious look. “What does he mean by preferences?”

Winston cleared his throat and changed the slide. “Our target, Milton Drumpt, has an….unhealthy obsession with the culture of the American Midwest and South, most content recovered off of his assistant’s phone concentrated on recovering memorabilia from the West during the mid to late 19th century. There were also requests to obtain….graphic images and videos I have omitted for the sanctity of professionalism.” 

“Oh, that’s just wrong,” Lucio commented. “His poor assistant.”

McCree felt dread pool in his stomach. “So what you’re saying is this man-”

“Cowboy kink,” Hanzo finished, mouth twitching. McCree grabbed his pen and threw it at Hanzo, who dodged it easily. 

Winston sighed. “Basically.”

“Let us look on the bright side, Jesse,” Genji said. “At least someone finds your fashion sense tasteful.” 

McCree wished he had another pen. 

“I know you have your reservations about these sorts of missions my son, but there is no way we can let this opportunity pass,” Ana said. “This man is an idiot, but he is enormously wealthy and has important people from all over the world in his pocket.”

“That’s right,” Winston nodded, and all agents turned back as he changed the slide again. “What we’re looking for are these contacts. Because Drumpt has almost entirely monopolized the agricultural industry in North America, he has a disgustingly large amount of wealth. Wealth that he is undoubtedly using to fund terrorist organizations that help him maintain this monopoly- or, if he isn’t stopped soon, that will cause it to grow.”

McCree huffed. “And all that stands between that and the future of the free world is me sucking his dick?”

“You are sucking no one’s dick,” Hanzo glared. 

Genji snickered. “Too bad for you then, brother.” Lucio smacked his shoulder. Winston rubbed at his temples and let out another sigh. 

“You don’t have to do….that. But you do need to convince him to trust you long enough for you to obtain any device on his person and bug it. Tablet and phone are preferred, though if he brings you to his office-” 

Hanzo’s eyes narrowed and he thinned his lips. 

“- his personal computer would be best. This information is vital to obtain so that we can compromise Drumpt to the public, similarly to LumeriCo’s CEO. The mission is to take place during a banquet in his honor a month from now.”

McCree ran a hand down his face, resigned to his fate, then was struck with a realization. “Wait- my bounty. What if he or someone else recognizes me?”

Everyone grew silent and shifted, not wanting to meet his eyes. Even Genji was looking anywhere but at McCree. 

Hanzo sighed and reached across the table to grab his hand. His eyes were apologetic when they met his. “I’m sorry Jesse.” 

Then, they lowered to his beard. 

McCree gave him a confused look for a couple of seconds, before he jumped back in horror. “Oh, hell no! No!”

“Agent McCree-”

He pointed a finger at Winston. “You’re not touching my facial hair, you evil scientist.”

Hanzo’s mouth ticked up in amusement. “Well, you will be shaving it yourself, so you are right in that regard.”

“Yeah, don’t worry Eastwood, at least you have the month to grow that mustache!” Lucio said, smiling cheerfully. McCree just paled, frozen, while Genji and Hanzo snickered. Lucio’s smile dimmed and he looked around. “No one….told him about the disguise?”

“It’s only a beard, dear,” Ana said soothingly. “It will grow back.”

“I shouldn’t have answered the recall,” McCree mumbled, looking straight ahead. “I knew y’all would murder me the first chance you got.”

Winston chuckled. “But you did anyway, so it’s your fault! I’ll send you the rest of the details a little later in the day, so as to not discourage you further. Until then, dismissed.” 

McCree stayed seated, still processing everything. Winston bounded out first, placing a placating fist on McCree’s shoulder, followed by Ana who mockingly scratched his beard. Genji and Lucio walked out, hands entwined, the former laughing hard and the latter mouthing “sorry.”

Finally, Hanzo got up from his seat to lean on the table next to McCree. He placed a finger under McCree’s chin, turning his head to look up at him. 

He gave McCree a small smile. “You were quite dramatic.”

“I don’t do these types of missions,” McCree muttered, flushing slightly. He did act a little silly. “I just don’t know if I’ll….” He sighed when Hanzo moved his hand to cup his cheek, thumb rubbing soothingly. “I don’t want to fuck it up.”

Hanzo leaned down, placing a small kiss on his lips. “You give yourself less credit than you deserve,” he murmured. “You will do fine. There is time to prepare.” He pressed another kiss on McCree before straightening, hand grazing his jaw and landing on his shoulder. “Although, I will miss your beard. The burn I get from it has grown on me.”

McCree barked a laugh, ears burning. “You’re terrible.”

“You love me,” Hanzo smiled. “Come. You have to shave. And to make up for it,” he squeezed McCree’s shoulder before kicking off the table, “we can practice your seduction methods.”

“I don’t think they need any practice if they landed me you,” McCree stood, smirking at Hanzo. Hanzo stared, and when McCree said nothing else, he just started laughing. And laughing. 

McCree sputtered. “Hon, what the hell?”

Hanzo laughed louder as he exited the room. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @meltypes! and thanks for reading ♡( ◡‿◡ )


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